


Girl Talk

by rixsig-writes (rixsig)



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match, people legit getting into conversations with madonee makes my heart warm, unrequited kaoru/anzu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2019-09-04 23:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16798792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rixsig/pseuds/rixsig-writes
Summary: In retrospect, Kaoru should have known things would end up a little funny when he starts taking romantic advice from Mademoiselle.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this started life as a oneshot but i must sever it into sections for the sake of my sanity
> 
> direct many warm thoughts to six, rits, and wabby, my friends and comrades in rarepair who fuel me daily

“Hey, hey, Mademoiselle, listen to my woes~” Kaoru plops into the seat in front of Itsuki in the middle of lunch, legs framing the chair back in a way that’s become increasingly natural in the past couple of months.

“‘Oh my, what a long face! What have you been up to this time, hm?’” Her eyes seem to shine with amusement, although that’s probably just the reflection of the light.

Kaoru folds his arms on top of Itsuki’s desk and pouts. “Up to? What do you mean up to? Am I a suspect already? I haven’t even told you anything yet.”

“‘Fufu, I’d suggest a guessing game, but wouldn’t that end rather quickly?’”

“Mademoiselle!”

She giggles without remorse, Itsuki moving her hand delicately over her mouth. “‘Am I wrong? Well let’s see. I’ll guess...that Anzu-chan ran away from you!’”

Kaoru groans as pitifully as he can manage, head plopping down onto his arms. “Would it be so scary to go on a date with me? Just one fun little date?”

“‘Tsk tsk,’” she scolds, “‘is that really all you want, Kaoru-kun?’”

Kaoru pauses a few seconds too long.

Mademoiselle sighs, a rare sound coming from her. “‘You have a long way to go to understanding a girl’s heart.’”

And if that isn’t the wildest thing for Itsuki of all people to say. Kaoru shifts until his face peeks out over the side of his arms, glancing up at Itsuki’s impassive expression. The guy isn’t even looking at him, which is good. His gaze drops back down to Mademoiselle. “Hm~? Then maybe you should help me out~”

Kaoru doesn’t expect this to actually happen. 

Which of course means that it does.

* * *

“‘Now Anzu-chan’s a tough girl, but she’s also surprisingly shy. You mustn’t push her too hard!’”

Kaoru has to wonder how he got here, sitting in the handicraft clubroom after school while Kagehira and Aoba lurk in the corners pretending not to listen. Somehow Itsuki’s falsetto comes from exactly where Mademoiselle sits on the table, even though Itsuki himself is turned away, rifling through different bolts of fabric. It should be really, really creepy, but Kaoru’s never been bothered by her like almost everyone else in this school is.

“‘But if you want her to respond than you can’t falter either. You have to get serious. Girls don’t like flighty boys, you know.’”

Kaoru bites down on the ‘I am serious,’ that wants to fly out of his mouth. Maybe he is more serious about this than he usually is, maybe he’s desperate for Anzu to actually look at him for a change, but despite of all the things he’s spilled in Itsuki’s presence so far he just...can’t. It’s too much.

“Oh really~? But plenty of girls seem to have fun with me?” he says instead.

Itsuki comes back to the table with his selections, setting them down to fix a flyaway strand of Mademoiselle’s hair and straighten out the hem of her pleated skirt with a fastidious care that’s almost enviable. 

The doll thing is weird. But everyone in this school is weird. And this...well, least this is a  _ cute _ kind of weird. Not like how the Sakumas take naps in a coffin in the music room or how Tenshouin keeps offering to destroy people for him on the occasional morning when Kaoru comes in with red-rimmed eyes. 

Itsuki finally clicks his tongue in irritation. “You see, Mademoiselle? You think someone like that would suit that girl?”

Kaoru bristles.

“‘Oh Shu-kun, don’t be like that.’” Itsuki doesn’t bother to move Mademoiselle for her, too preoccupied with his task of measuring fabric lengths, but Kaoru can practically see her wagging her finger. “‘Don’t you think love is a beautiful thing?’”

L-Love?! Kaoru nearly chokes on his spit. Love...that’s a bit…

“He’s  _ clearly _ a lost cause,” Itsuki grumbles weakly, the heat gone from his voice.

“‘Shu-kun.’” Mademoiselle says insistently. “‘Remember? No one is a lost cause.’”

Itsuki pauses, unmoving. This is something he’s heard more than once before. “Fine,” he huffs, unfreezing to pin a couple cuts of fabric together. “Do as you please.”

* * *

A week or so later Kaoru floats over to the room where Valkyrie is practicing, brushing off Oogami’s irritated barking for ducking out of Undead’s practice with a cheery handwave. Kagehira’s the one to open the door when Kaoru knocks, half his face hidden behind it so only one amber colored eye peeks out, squinting suspiciously. 

“Whaddya want.” And before Kaoru can even open his mouth he tacks on, “We’re busy.”

“Kagehira, don’t linger by the door like an imbecile. Who is—”

The moment Itsuki comes into view he stops talking, and Kaoru has to resist the urge to physically swallow down the sudden spike of nervousness. Itsuki’s gaze always looks so intense… “What? You told me I could drop by whenever, right~?”

Itsuki’s lips purse but it’s clear he can’t argue that. “Yes. Well. Don’t just stand there. Come in!” He beckons Kagehira over with a gesture, and Kagehira shoots Kaoru a sulky look before unblocking the door. “I suppose a short break would do us well.”

Kagehira scuttles off to do some cool-down stretches, and Itsuki pulls out a frilled handkerchief, dabbing at his face and neck with it as he turns to where Mademoiselle sits primly in her own practice outfit. She actually has a matching practice outfit...god. That’s too cute.

“Working hard too, huh Mademoiselle?” Kaoru grins.

“‘Of course! It takes a lot to keep these boys in line~’”

“I bet. Surrounded by sweaty boys all day...I feel a little bad for you.” Shu makes a loud ‘tsk’ing noise that Kaoru ignores in favor of squatting down to get on Mademoiselle’s eye level. “Doesn’t a pretty girl like you want to get out of here sometimes?”

“‘Fufu, that does sound like fun! But Shu-kun doesn’t go into town much, you know.’”

That’s the least surprising thing Kaoru’s ever heard. “What?! He’s really keeping a beauty like you in the dark? You should bully him into it.” 

Kaoru ignores the second disgruntled noise Itsuki makes.

Mademoiselle hums, the sound surprisingly melodic for being completely outside of Itsuki’s vocal range. “‘You really think so? But I wouldn’t begin to know where to go… Wouldn’t it be nice if we could take someone with us who knows a little more about things like that?’”

Somehow Kaoru’s heart ends up in his throat. Um. That’s definitely him she’s talking about, right? “Ahaha...yeah, yeah, it’s always better to have a place or two in mind. I could always give you a list of things to check out sometime.” He casts about for a topic, any other topic. Oh, right! Duh. What he came here for in the first place. He puts on a pout. “Anyways, Mademoiselle, are you sure you you’re trying to help me? Because Anzu-chan  _ still _ won’t go on a date with me.”

“‘Kaoru-kun, don’t I keep telling you Anzu-chan’s not like all those girls you’re always talking to?” Kaoru can hear the answering pout in Mademoiselle’s voice. “All the things I say go in one ear and out the other, don’t they. Maybe I need to start being more strict with you~?’”

“No way~” 

Mademoiselle giggles. “‘What a bad student I have, hm? Or maybe I’m a bad teacher? Well let’s try something else then.’” Finally Itsuki deigns to move her, putting her hands on her hips. “‘Now repeat after me: I’ll court Anzu-chan properly, like the fine lady she is.’”

Kaoru sputters. First that thing about love and now this? “Court?! Mademoiselle, come on, even Anzu-chan would think that’s too serious. It’s not like we’re looking to get engaged or anything.” 

“‘Well you should at least stop trying to two-time. Or is it three-time?’” Mademoiselle huffs. “‘How many girls do you talk to on that phone of yours, Kaoru-kun?’”

“Well…” He doesn’t even have a solid number to offer up off the top of his head.

“‘Oh, you  _ scoundrel _ .’”

“Hey, they all know! I’m not any-timing anyone!” Kaoru darts a pleading glance at Itsuki, but finds no salvation in those eyes. Actually, the guy looks about five seconds away from bursting out of his skin and running out of the room. “Hahhh, whatever. Sorry, if you don’t want to help, I should just leave, ri—”

“Hakaze! Surely you’re not this obtuse. If you want to go on a date with the young lady then you must stop dating everyone else!”

Kaoru blinks, stunned. That’s the first time Itsuki’s butted in like that. “Uh. Hey...are you alright?”

Itsuki clears his throat sharply while he neatens up Mademoiselle's appearance. Although she didn’t look that disheveled in the first place. “Ah. I apologize. It was uncouth of me to interrupt your conversation.”

“No...no, you’re right. Probably.” Kaoru knows what he’s been doing. He knows, he just hasn’t wanted to admit it. Clinging desperately to his old, easy-going lifestyle while reaching for the other. Of course he can’t keep both. He has to pick one. Someday soon he’ll have to pick one.

Getting serious is scary.

“‘Fufu, you’re almost more stubborn than Shu-kun, aren’t you?’”

“Whaaaat~? That can’t be true.”

“‘It is~! It is~!’”

“Hey, you take that back,” Kaoru says, unable to suppress his smile when Mademoiselle giggles. A beat or two passes before he speaks again. “So...if I do stop calling those girls...what then?”

“‘Hmm…Well—’”

“Oshi-san, shouldn’t we practice some more before our time’s gone?” 

Kaoru jolts, Kagehira’s mumbling voice a shock. God, he’d forgotten the guy was even there. 

“Yes yes, don’t tug at me,” Itsuki chides, brushing off the hand picking at his sleeve. “How can you be a creature of so many bad habits…”

While Itsuki performs some sort of weird physical check on his unitmate—does he  _ really _ need to know the exact condition of his teeth right now?—Mademoiselle keeps talking to Kaoru. “‘Oh! You should stay another minute or two and watch them perform! They’ve polished their routine up to quite a shine, you know~’”

“Nghaaagh?!” Kagehira exclaims, strangled. Once Itsuki lets go of his jaw he opens and shuts it several times before trying again. “Mado-nee, he’s the enemy! What if he’s spyin’ or something!”

If Itsuki was the kind of guy to roll his eyes he’d be doing it right now. He moves on to bend Kagehira’s arms, and then his fingers one by one. “Don’t be ridiculous. As if Rei would send spies, let alone that one.”

“Hey, hey, should I be feeling insulted right now?”

“This can hardly be a surprise to you. Everyone knows about your abysmal work ethic.”

“Ah, Mademoiselle! Tell Itsuki-kun to stop bullying me!”

Kaoru’s met only with Mademoiselle’s chiming laugh. He sulks. “I give everyone a good time on stage, so what’s the problem if I skip?”

“I’ll concede you’re reasonably competent. You have natural talent and a compelling stage presence.” Itsuki hums as he prods regularly down Kagehira’s front. “But it’s a deplorable waste. Kagehira, you’re in good order. Prepare yourself. And get that expression off your face, it’s inelegant.”

As the two fall into position and move through the first steps, Kaoru understands. They move like clockwork, like a well-oiled machine, like the hand of god weaving fate into their footsteps. And gone too is that automaton stiffness they once had towards the beginning of the year. They move like they beat with one heart, like they’re...one unit. 

The amount of time you’d have to spend with someone to reach that level of understanding… Sure, everyone in Undead’s grown on him a lot this past year, but still. Picturing anything close to this with his own unitmates is giving him goosebumps. Scary, scary, scary.

Kaoru lets himself get lost in the performance instead, and then in Itsuki’s performance in particular. Being in the same class with a guy like this makes you wonder what makes him tick. He gets so twisted up over every little detail. Perfect stitching, perfect staging, perfect posture. It all sounds so exhausting. Does he ever relax?

It’s mesmerizing though, the results. Kaoru idly traces the line of Itsuki’s eyelashes, the planes of his face. He has to admit he’s kind of beautiful. But not in like...a girly way. If Itsuki was more like Souma or Nazuna, easy to mistake at first glance, then Kaoru would get why his eyes keep wanting to follow him, but… 

It’s just this stupid school’s fault, Kaoru reasons, glued to the elegant motion of Itsuki’s arm as he practices a perfectly crisp turn. This school filled to the brim with all these weird guys that all look way better than they should. Even if you’re straight you’d have to be moved a little bit. 

Just a little.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've had this section half-written for a while now but that new shu and kaoru card story held a gun to my head and made me finish it
> 
> many thanks as always to my comrades in rarepair, our silent suffering has finally been rewarded +_+

It takes a couple of weeks, but Kaoru finally takes Mademoiselle’s advice and starts whittling down his contacts list. He parts on good terms with most of them, only suffering a few touchy incidents with riled up third parties... although one notable case leaves a handprint on his cheek. He sighs, cradling it and leaning against a tree, peering up through the branches. What he feels is...relief. And lots of loneliness.

He has so many holes in his schedule now.

Kaoru’s phone chimes in his hand and he looks back down, half-prepared to see one of those girls trying to rope him into one last date. The thought is pretty tempting...

[bark bark bark: not that it matters cause youre such a fuckin flake but you said you might come to practice this time]

Oh. Yeah, he did say something like that, didn’t he.

[Hakaze Kaoru☆: hmmm if you miss me that much maybe i will wan-chan?]

[bark bark bark: HAH?????]

It’s not a date, but anything’s better than going back home.

* * *

To Kaoru’s chagrin cutting out dates has the unfortunate side-effect of making him hang around school more often. It’s a drag going to practice regularly—although less of one than he ever wants to admit—but it definitely seems like it’s working to score points with Anzu. She still keeps a certain distance, but she’s less on guard around him these days, less wary. It’s nice, not having her dash away like he’s going to eat her up. That had kinda hurt his feelings before.

But of course right now he’s skipping. He’s hit his quota for sweaty guy stink for today and prooobably the rest of the week, thank you. Luckily for him no one’s in the Marine Bio clubroom, especially no uptight people with hair-trigger sword arms, so he’s free to lay back on the couch and stare at the ceiling. Not exactly his idea of a good time, but it’s relaxing being in here at least. Enough that his thoughts start to slow and his eyes begin to close.

The door opens with a brisk click.

“Kanata?” Footsteps, a weary sigh. “Has he forgotten? Making me comb over the entire wretched school like this…”

“‘Oh my, but it looks like someone else you know is here, Shu-kun~’”

Caught out, Kaoru levers himself up to sit. “Hahaha, can’t fool your eyes huh, Mademoiselle.”

“‘I would never overlook one of Shu-kun’s precious friends!’”

P...Precious? Kaoru doesn’t know how to respond to that so he puts on an exaggerated pout. “Aw, Mademoiselle, you don’t think of me as a friend? How mean~”

Itsuki sits down on the far side of the couch, and even though Kaoru knows he must have been sweating up a storm in practice earlier like everyone else the only thing he smells like is potpourri. Does he like...carry a sachet or something…? Kaoru watches him from the corner of his eye as Itsuki crosses one leg over the other and puts a hand to his chin with a thoughtfully vexed expression. “You’re well acquainted with him, do you know where he’s gone?”

“Um? No?” But even as he says that a thought occurs to him. “Well actually, maybe the beach?”

“I should have known.” Itsuki’s nose wrinkles. “I suppose I’ll have to hunt him down first thing tomorrow then.”

Silence falls. For some reason Itsuki doesn’t seem intent on moving anytime soon.

“Do you...need anything else…?”

“‘Silly, Shu-kun wants to know if _you_ need something!’”

“If I…? Oh!” He’s giving Kaoru a chance to talk to Mademoiselle, right? It’s been a while since Kaoru’s come up to ask for advice. “Yeah. Actually, maybe you can help me out, Mademoiselle.”

“‘Oh?’” Mademoiselle gets settled on Shu’s knee, glittering eyes positioned to look up at him attentively.

“You see...I’m getting closer to Anzu-chan, but I don’t know how to ask her out without putting her guard up again.” In fact, Kaoru’s been too scared to try. Everything seems too intense now that he’s stopped going out so much, now that Anzu actually seems to like him a little bit more. How’s he ever supposed to bounce back from rejection like this? “How would you want someone to ask you out?”

“‘Oh my! _Me_?’”

Itsuki’s eyes narrow and Kaoru is suddenly hit with regret. Why? Why did he have to go and ask it like that? Couldn’t he just have asked for tips? It’s just so easy to be playful with Mademoiselle that he forgets that Itsuki’s always looming right behind her.

But Itsuki doesn’t move, and Mademoiselle hums thoughtfully. “‘Flowers are always nice, and a well-practiced confession is a must! But more than anything isn’t sincerity the most important? I’d want to feel like that person really likes me. So just show your true feelings, Kaoru-kun!’”

“Right…” Kaoru’s throat clicks. Be sincere. True feelings. The most terrifying answer she could have given him.

* * *

Days pass before Kaoru can gather his courage, but bolstered by multiple pep talks from Mademoiselle he finally picks a time and promises himself he’ll stick to it. After all, the end of the year gets closer with each passing week. Could Kaoru ever forgive himself if he didn’t at least try? Just once, for real? Especially now that he’s gone this far already?

A hand invades his line of sight, and Kaoru blinks at the lunchbox it’s holding. “For me? From…?” He looks up at Itsuki, then at Mademoiselle nestled in the crook of his arm, then back at Itsuki again.

“Of course I’m the one who cooked it.” Itsuki sniffs. “Mademoiselle is far too delicate for that kind of labor.”

“‘It’s for good luck!’” Mademoiselle explains brightly. “‘You can do it, Kaoru-kun!’”

The reminder of what he’s going to do after school makes his stomach twist, but Kaoru accepts the lunchbox anyway. “Haha...I don’t think I should be happy getting something like this from a guy.”

Itsuki scowls and opens his mouth but Mademoiselle cuts in before he can say anything. “‘Fufu, just think of it as being from both of us! It has both our well wishes in it after all~’”

Somehow that answer flusters Kaoru even more, and he stumbles over a thanks before class begins and Shu returns to his seat. Kaoru barely hears a word of any of the lessons and lunch isn’t much better, Kaoru mechanically eating bite after bite with one eye fixed on the clock, watching the end of classes creep ever closer.

* * *

Kaoru’s knock on the handicraft club door that afternoon is timid and soft, so soft he’s not even sure anyone could possibly hear it. He’s in the middle of debating whether he should knock again when the door abruptly swings inwards, a harried looking Itsuki on the other side.

“Uh. Is this a bad time?”

“Don’t speak such nonsense,” Itsuki says, voice clipped. “You’ve kept me waiting. Come in.”

But right after saying that he spins away to a dress form, rapidly pinning bits here and there to the hanging costume. Kaoru enters and then hovers awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure what to do. Where’s…?

“‘Ah, Kaoru-kun! You’re here! Did you ask her? You _must_ tell me everything.’”

Oh thank god. Kaoru darts a look around the room. “Kagehira-kun and....?”

“‘Shu-kun sent them home early! He’s been in a bit of a frenzy, you see. Don’t you worry, I’m all ears. Fufu~’”

Kaoru finally spots her, perched carefully on a shelf instead of her normal place. Probably because the entire table is a disaster of piled cloth and spools of thread. He pulls out a chair and sits by her, feeling his legs give out halfway through the motion. “U-Um...so...I did it?”

Mademoiselle gives a pretty gasp at the same time that something heavy drops to the floor over in Itsuki’s corner. Kaoru resists the urge to look. “‘Now don’t keep us in suspense! What on earth did Anzu-chan say?’”

What _did_ she say? The whole thing is a blur of sweaty palms and uncomfortable honesty. Kaoru scratches at his head and looks down at the floor between his own two feet. “She...I don’t know. We’re going on a date.”

“‘Well that’s perfect! Oh, I’m so happy for you!’”

“Yeah…”

Mademoiselle makes a questioning noise, and Kaoru imagines how her head might tilt to the side if Itsuki were there to move her. “‘Kaoru-kun, why don’t you sound happy? You’ve always wanted a date with Anzu-chan, haven’t you? You did it!’”

“It’s just…” Kaoru bites his lip. “It’s not like she agreed to date me date me. It’s just one date, so…” A million bad endings a minute are shooting through his head. This is serious, this is him getting serious, and it fucking _sucks_.

“‘Kaoru-kun…’”

Kaoru’s head shoots back up and he fixes her with pleading eyes. “I have a shot, right? I have a real shot?”

“‘Of course you do, Kaoru-kun. I believe in you!’”

“Thanks, Mademoiselle,” Kaoru says, hiding a stupid little smile into his hand. Then he hesitates, remembering something. It might be weird, but if Itsuki doesn’t have a problem with it, then… “Hey, Mademoiselle?”

“‘Yes?’”

“You said you wanted someone to show you around town, right? I mean. Would it be too bad of me to ask…?” Kaoru pauses again, hyper-aware of the sudden and complete silence hanging over the handicraft club room, not a single swish of cloth to be heard. He gulps and forges on. “Your advice has been really good, so I was just thinking if maybe...something like a practice date could—”

“Non!”

Kaoru jumps in his seat and furiously starts backpedaling. “I-If it’s too much, don’t worry about it, I just—”

“‘Oh, Shu-kun, can’t I? Pretty please? It sounds like such fun!’”

Itsuki marches Kaoru's way. “You are not to gallivant around with her to whatever sordid parts of town you frequent—”

“Sordid????”

“‘Now, now, Shu-kun, you know he’d be the perfect gentleman. Right, Kaoru-kun?’”

“Of course?!” Kaoru doesn’t even want to think about what not being a gentleman would look like with Mademoiselle being the way she is.

Silence falls again while Itsuki skewers him with a look, arms crossed.

“‘It will be just fine, Shu-kun. You’ll be there the whole time to look after me after all ♪’”

Itsuki sighs, long and malcontented through his nose. “...I suppose that’s acceptable.”

Mademoiselle cheers.

* * *

Itsuki Shu strides down the street in broad daylight that weekend with Mademoiselle on his arm as if it were exactly like the hallway at school, eyes straight ahead, deliberately ignoring the stares. Kaoru walks just to the side of him with his hands in his pockets as he tries to match Itsuki’s punishing pace. Kaoru watches people sluice around them like the ocean around the prow of a ship and tries not to feel too flooded with regret. This icy atmosphere is harsh...

“‘Shu-kun, shouldn’t you slow down? You’re being rude,’” Mademoiselle chides, curls swaying from the movement.

“Huh? Oh no, you don’t need to—”

But Itsuki’s speed instantly slashes in half before he can finish, and Kaoru has to stagger to keep from falling over at the sudden change. When Kaoru looks over at him Itsuki’s face snaps the other way. Geez, did Kaoru really upset him that much setting this up…? Weren’t they getting along pretty well not too long ago?

“‘Don’t pay Shu-kun any mind,’” Mademoiselle says cheerfully. “‘He’s just nervous. He’s never done anything like this before.’”

Huh. Sadly Kaoru can’t say the same. This isn’t the first time one of his dates has had a persistent shadow. “Hm? Not used to being a chaperone? There’s nothing to be nervous about, right? This is all just practice. I’m counting on you, Mademoiselle~”

“‘I’ll do my best! Fufu, I’m so excited! I’m just a doll, so I never thought I’d get the chance to go out on a date like this.’”

The pureness of that statement is a surprise attack that almost brings Kaoru to his knees. He winks at her, a new resolution forming in his heart. Even if Itsuki’s a sourpuss, he’s at least going to make Mademoiselle happy. “Then I’ll make sure you have fun ♪”

So he does. He pulls out all the stops, taking her to all the nicest places he knows. The bridge over the water, the path through the park, the little red-brick cafe where a guy plays live piano on the hour. And even though Mademoiselle is different from every other girl he’s gone with in a lot of different ways, it still feels startlingly like a real date, silent chaperone notwithstanding.

Because right now, sitting in the cafe’s patio, hearing the piano mix with the soothing sounds of the water fountain, smelling the aroma of good coffee, appreciating the spray of flowers on the nearby trellis...Kaoru almost thinks he could turn his head, look back across the table, and see…and see...

Itsuki Shu. Looking at the same flowers with the softest smile he’s ever seen in his life.

Kaoru chokes on his drink.

“‘Oh my, Kaoru-kun, are you alright?!’”

Kaoru can’t assure her he’s fine through all the coughing.

“Hmph! How unsightly.” The scrape of a chair sounds out, and then precise hands turn Kaoru’s face to the side. “And if you’ve _dared_ get anything on Mademoiselle’s dress…” One of those hands pounds lightly and firmly at Kaoru’s back until he can catch his breath while the other dabs briskly at his face with a napkin.

“I’d...I would never,” Kaoru wheezes out, blinking the teary haze out of his eyes. Itsuki’s stern face swims into view, and Kaoru blinks some more, staring incredulously. He didn’t hallucinate that soft look just now, did he? Looking at him now, he’d never guess Itsuki could make an expression like th—

The napkin goes over Kaoru’s nose. “Blow.”

“What, no?????” Kaoru flushes and bats Itsuki’s hand away. Then he sniffs. Oh. He actually really does need to. How embarrassing. He snatches the napkin from where it fell on the table and blows his nose. “Aha...sorry Mademoiselle,” Kaoru apologizes, looking off to the side. “I looked really uncool just now, huh…”

God, what if he does something like that in front of _Anzu_?

Mademoiselle laughs while Itsuki picks her back up. “‘Silly, is that why you look so blue all the sudden?’” Kaoru feels a tiny, tiny hand pat the top of his head. “‘There there, Kaoru-kun. You’ve been doing a wonderful job!’”

“Yeah?”

“‘You really have! I know Shu-kun agrees with me too~’”

Kaoru darts a look at him. Itsuki’s face is completely blank. Definitely a hallucination. It has to be. “Uh, well, do you have any pointers? Just in case?”

“‘Hmmmm. Maybe on your date with Anzu-chan you might ask her what she wants to do too…?’”

Oh.

Kaoru leans in with a smile. “Is there anything else you want to do, Mademoiselle?’”

Mademoiselle titters, a hand over her mouth. “Well, I’m just a doll so I can’t eat it, but you know...I’ve still always wanted to go get one of those pretty crepes like you see in the magazines.”

Kaoru gets up and offers a hand to her before he can think about that being a really, really bad idea, but all Itsuki does in response is lay Mademoiselle’s own delicate hand at the edge of his palm. Kaoru puts all his focus on that, on the frilled cuff of her brand-new blouse framing her perfect little doll hand, and does his best to ignore the puppeteer's fingers hovering directly over it.

“Whatever your heart desires, fine lady~”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> help this fic wont stop elongating 
> 
> dedicated, as always, to my lovely friends

Kaoru brings Mademoiselle to the cutest crepe shop he knows.

“‘Oh my, these look delicious~’”

“Right? Maybe you’ll want to share one with me?”

Itsuki makes a face but doesn’t protest, standing to wait beside Kaoru and actually ordering _himself_ a crepe too when he gets to the front, which shocks Kaoru a little. Ah but wait, he’s always going on and on about croissants so maybe he likes other French food too…?

“‘Ah? Kaoru-kun? Are you alright?’”

“Fine! Haha~” Kaoru takes a bite and then holds it in Mademoiselle’s direction while she makes a soft, demure chomping noise, taking turns. A fun little game of pretend between the two of them. “It tastes just as good as it looks. Perfectly fit for a sweet girl like you.”

Mademoiselle giggles, flattered, and says something in return, but Kaoru can’t quite catch it. The toppings on Itsuki’s crepe keep sliding this way and that, threatening to fall out each time he attempts to take a bite, and the mortally offended look on Itsuki’s face as he struggles with it is the funniest thing Kaoru’s seen all day.

“Hey, uh,” Kaoru’s mouth twitches. “You need some help?”

“Hmph! I don’t see why Japanese crepes are rolled this way. Eating them on a plate with silverware is far more elegant.”

Kaoru muffles a laugh into the last bite of his own crepe and balls the paper up, tossing it into a nearby trash can. “If you’d have just told me we could have found somewhere to sit down.”

“Non,” Itsuki sniffs. “It was horrifically crowded in that place.”

“‘Shu-kun doesn’t do so well around so many people!’”

Ah, that’s right. Maybe Kaoru should have offered to let them wait outside while he got them the cre—

His thoughts are interrupted by an armful of Mademoiselle. “H-Hey! Itsuki-kun?!”

Itsuki tsks and tucks Mademoiselle securely in the crook of Hakaze’s arm, arranging her hands in her lap. “Don’t touch her with your sticky fingers, she’ll stay perfectly well so long as you don’t fidget.”

Kaoru is instantly the stillest he’s ever been in his life, but Itsuki just resumes eating his crepe, both hands set to the task now, as if this sequence of events is the most natural thing in the universe. Clearly Kaoru’s stepped into an alternate reality. This can’t be the same Itsuki that barely even lets that Kagehira kid hold her.

But no matter how hard Kaoru blinks the reality he’s in stays the same. So he stands in place, watching Itsuki neatly and methodically take bites out of his crepe, hyper-aware of the weight of Mademoiselle in his arms. He tries to not feel too overwhelmed by it.

He fails.

“‘Fufu, I knew it. Kaoru-kun is gentle and warm too~’"

He swallows down the tightness in his throat as best as he can and laughs instead. “You’re quite the flirt yourself, aren’t you Mademoiselle~? Careful, what are you going to do if you charm me for real?”

* * *

Kaoru doesn’t know exactly what, but something changes after that practice date. Some sort of invisible barrier falls down, some sort of immeasurable distance disappears.

“‘Shu-kun wants to fix your hair!’”

“Uhhhhhhhh,” Kaoru says.

Maybe a little _too_ much distance.

But Kaoru can’t quite squeeze the refusal out before Itsuki’s fingers are already up in there, and by then it's all he can do to not embarrass himself in the middle of the classroom. At least almost everyone else is outside for lunch today.

Man, how is it fair that this guy’s hands are so skilled at this too? Kaoru’s always been weak to being petted…Ugh, no. It’s not petting. Itsuki’s just fixing his hair. That’s what Mademoiselle just said.

“Your hair behaves much better than Rei’s,” Itsuki notes with approval. Satisfied with the front, his hands move to the back, fingernails gently scraping along the nape of Kaoru’s neck. 

Kaoru bites the inside of his cheek. It’s fine. People mess with his hair sometimes, it’s fine. He’s a school idol, he has to look a certain way on stage, this kind of thing happens, it’s fine. But god, is this always what Itsuki’s full attention feels like? No wonder that Kagehira kid sticks to him like glue.

“Sakuma-san huh…?” Kaoru fights to act normal. He’d rather die than be the one to make this weird. Be light, be breezy. This isn’t a big deal. “How many people do you style for, Itsuki-kun?”

“Kagehira, of course.” Itsuki responds with the slightest curl of a fond smile. “I can’t trust that fool to do it yet. He’d still cut his hair in the dark with kindergarten scissors if I’d let him. Then Rei...Natsume on occasion. I used to...with Nito…” For a second Itsuki’s eyes unfocus, going dull. Then a swallow, a small shake of the head, and he’s back. “Even Kanata once or twice, although he insists on submerging himself so often it’s hardly worth the effort.”

“Yeah?” Wow, Itsuki’s being pretty honest today. Kaoru can’t help wanting to take advantage of that a little bit. “You’re really into this stuff, aren’t you. The makeup and hair and clothes…”

“I appreciate all forms of art. Music, for instance. However those…” Kaoru feels Itsuki’s fingertips pause and rest against his scalp. “I suppose those hold more meaning for me.”

“Meaning?”

Itsuki hums an affirmative, but Mademoiselle is the one who answers. “‘They remind him of someone precious, just like I do!’”

Itsuki picks right back up where Mademoiselle leaves off. “Arranging a doll’s looks is much easier, but I can’t deny there’s a certain satisfaction in this as well.” One of Itsuki’s hands lightly turns Kaoru’s face while the other smooths a stubborn strand. Kaoru can feel Itsuki’s knuckle brush the shell of his ear. “And besides, you’re an exquisite canvas.”

Suddenly it’s all _way_ too much and Kaoru bats Itsuki’s hand away. “Hey, hey, don’t go overboard. Part of my charm is looking windswept, you know?”

Itsuki scoffs. “Of course I know that.”

When Kaoru leaves he messes it back up as much as he can, but it’s impossible to erase the ghostly sensation of Itsuki’s careful hands.

* * *

Kaoru probably should have expected this, but Anzu ends up having to push their date back.

“She’s not just, you know, avoiding it. Right?” Kaoru looks rolls a pencil back and forth along the surface of the table, back and forth, back and forth. “What if she’s looking for a way to cancel on me?”

“‘Now, now, Kaoru-kun. You know Anzu-chan is a busy girl. Why, she’s even asked Shu-kun for help with outfits she’s working herself so hard!’”

And that’s its own cause for concern, but Kaoru can’t deny it makes him feel a bit better to know he’s not being shoved away like any old bothersome guy. “I wonder if there’s something I can do to help her out…?”

A hand stops the pencil in its tracks, and Kaoru looks up to see an Itsuki that looks more than a little gray around the edges, pincushion on his wrist and cuts of fabric draped over an arm. Has the guy _slept_? “Cease that racket. And that won’t be necessary. The whole ordeal is under control.”

“Well, what about you then?”

Itsuki looks at him like he just spoke a foreign language.

“Come on, you look like someone could knock you over with a feather.”

“Hmph. Do you take me for an amateur? I’ll be finished with this set shortly.” Itsuki walks off to the corner without letting Kaoru respond, a clear dismissal.

Kaoru sulks. This is what he gets for getting worried over a guy.

“‘Don’t worry, Kaoru-kun! He really will be all done after today. Shu-kun’s happy you’re trying to look after him ♪’”

“Uh-huh. You sure about that?”

“‘Of course! Shu-kun’s just stressed. He wouldn’t dream of submitting any rushed or sloppy work, so he’s been working extra hard to make sure Anzu-chan gets these quickly. Oh!’” Mademoiselle suddenly exclaims. “I know! How about the three of us go out on the town again tomorrow, after Shu-kun’s had some time to rest?’”

“Go out again…?” Kaoru echoes. “Wait, but—”

“‘I’m sure you don’t need any more advice, but wouldn’t it be nice to have something to do while Anzu-chan’s still busy? And I so did enjoy last time.’”

Kaoru rests his chin on his hand and gazes at Mademoiselle, then at Itsuki who’s examining the drape of a recently completed shirt. Well. It couldn’t hurt. And if he doesn’t go and do something he’ll just be torturing himself with what-ifs until the The Date finally arrives anyway. “Alright,” Kaoru says with a wink to Mademoiselle. “Who am I to turn down such a cutie?”

* * *

They end up at the arcade. It’s a bit of a hard sell, but once Kaoru mentions that Itsuki could probably try topping some of Tenshouin’s high scores his resistance suddenly disappears.

“‘Oh, it isn’t quite as busy as when we were here with all of Shu-kun’s classmates,’” Mademoiselle notes, Itsuki’s hand turning her head as she surveys the floor. “Isn’t that nice?’”

Kaoru _may_ have arranged it that way on purpose.

“Well,” Itsuki admits, “it’s bearable.” Then he strides off to one of the machines, bending sharply at the waist to examine the instructions. Kaoru has to tamp down on a smile. Who even reads the written instructions on an arcade machine? But apparently it’s worth it, because Itsuki picks it up with astonishing speed.

Most of it, anyway.

“Why are these fellows shambling towards us? I hardly think the guns are necessary, they clearly need medical attention.”

“They’re zombies, Itsuki-kun. Didn’t you dress Kagehira-kun as one of these for Halloween?”

“I did _not_. I would never engineer something as grotesque as this!”

They hit a few more rail shooter games after that and then one racing game—Kaoru is _very_ concerned for Itsuki’s future behind the wheel, based on how he drives—before landing themselves in front of the ever-popular dancing rhythm game machines. Itsuki watches with skepticism, eyeing the players in front of them judgmentally. “There are only four positions for the feet?”

“Yeah, but it can go pretty fast if you’re playing on hard.”

“Hm.”

When it’s their turn Kaoru forces him to play easy mode first so he can get the hang of it and then sets him loose. Itsuki hits the notes with complete stone-faced concentration for the first round on hard mode—is he even having fun…?—but then for the second Itsuki manages to find the one and only song with violin in the entire lineup and suddenly his whole demeanor changes, a sort of relaxed confidence washing over him.

Shu’s soaring, cackling laugh soon pierces straight through the noise of the arcade, a raucous thing that should be embarrassing to even be around, but instead of cringing Kaoru has to fight a grin from cracking his own face open, watching sidelong as Shu starts another round with fire-bright eyes. It’s been a while, Kaoru thinks, since he’s last seen Shu be this unrestrained and ridiculous and...happy.

When the last song ends Itsuki’s gaze snaps over to him. “What is it?”

“Hm? Haha nothing, it was just—” Kaoru slaps a hand over his mouth before the last word can escape. No. He’s not going there. Cute should never be used to describe a guy.

Shu tilts his head but soon dismisses the conversation with a dissatisfied huff, grabbing Kaoru’s wrist. “Come along, there’s some time left and Tenshouin’s name is still on far too many of these screens. I have a mind to wipe him off of them completely before this establishment closes.”

They work their way around the floor, Mademoiselle playing the simpler games—pressing big flashing buttons with her tiny little hands—and Itsuki ferociously challenging any game with a leaderboard until he takes the top spot. By the end of it Kaoru’s holding the biggest pile of tickets he’s ever seen in his life.

“It’s almost insultingly simple,” Itsuki says, watching the light go around the circle with a hawk’s eye. “Timing. Reflexes. Patterns. It lines up rather well with what we do as idols.”

Mademoiselle’s hand pushes the button and a loud klaxon sounds, lights flashing as tickets flood endlessly out of the machine. The manager on duty is looking at them like he wants to strangle them to death, but Itsuki doesn’t take any notice, just grimacing with distaste at all of the noise.

“What exactly do you do with these?” Itsuki picks the new tickets up and dumps them on top of the pile until Kaoru can’t even see over it. “Is it for a lottery of some sort?”

“Haha, no no. Here, I’ll show you! Stay here, alright?”

Kaoru goes off to the exchange desk with more excitement than he probably should have—just look at all of the things he can get with all of this, oh my _god_ —and spends a good ten minutes there trying to pick out the best things. But by the time he gets back, arms laden with goodies, Itsuki...isn’t there. Kaoru’s head whips to and fro, but he can’t spot him anywhere. A prickle of unease hits him. Where is he? Is he okay??

It _has_ gotten more crowded as the evening’s gone on. Maybe he went outside? But Kaoru’s eyes catch a figure off in the corner, arms crossed and back ramrod straight, looking about as uncomfortable as possible while two gothic-lolita style women try to chat him up. They’re oo-ing and ah-ing excessively over Mademoiselle which is probably the only reason Itsuki hasn’t straight up escaped out the door by now.

Kaoru quickly cuts in between them with a polished, friendly smile and ushers Itsuki away to a quieter corner. Itsuki only blinks owlishly at him, posture still stiff. “Hakaze. You’ve returned.”

“Ah, sorry, it took a little longer than I thought. Here—” Kaoru takes Itsuki’s free hand and puts a small wooden box in it. Itsuki examines it with interest, a gentle tune starting up when he opens the lid. “You trade the tickets for things like this. You know, candy and toys and stuff like that.”

The music box was fanciest, Itsuki-est looking thing he could find there.

Itsuki traces the edges of it with a fingertip and while he’s occupied Kaoru sneaks something onto his head. The band fits snugly, a shade of pink that isn’t quite Itsuki’s color but pretty dang close, if Kaoru does say so himself. Itsuki’s head snaps up in surprise and his eyes squint, his hand immediately attempting to feel out the shape of it while still holding onto the music box.

“What on _earth_ have you put on me, Hakaze.” Then Itsuki finally notices the matching tawny-gold cat ears on Kaoru’s own head and sputters. “Wh-wh-wh....!”

Did Itsuki always blush that easily…? Kaoru can’t remember. “Aw, come on, don’t take them off already. You won those, you know~!”

Itsuki scowls, but reluctantly lets his hand drop. “They’re ridiculous.”

“‘They’re cute!’” Mademoiselle chimes in. “‘Ah, I wish they made those in my size too…’”

“See, Mademoiselle gets it,” Kaoru grins, reaching into one of the bags hanging from his arm. “And don’t worry, I’d never forget about you ♪”

Kaoru takes a little yellow ribbon and ties it at the very top of her head, doing his best to make the same triangle shapes as their cat ears. Miraculously, it seems to stay in place.

Mademoiselle’s little hand goes up to touch it, an exact mirror of what Itsuki had done just a moment before. “‘Oh my! Do I match? How do I look? Ah, I’m so happy!’”

Usually when Mademoiselle speaks Itsuki’s face is flat and perfectly expressionless. But this time when Kaoru sneaks a peak Itsuki’s eyes are soft, the corners of his lips quirked up just the tiniest, smallest bit.

* * *

“So did you know Itsuki-kun’s actually surprisingly good at arcade games? I mean, he was pretty good last time, but he only played that one game with us. It was unreal seeing him clean the whole place out.”

“Oh?” Amused seafoam eyes twinkle at him as Kanata rests his head on the rim of the fountain. “Shu always has been ‘quick’ when he’s feeling ‘motivated.’”

“Yeah, tooootally not fair. I’ve been playing those games for ages and he was keeping up with me easy. What’s up with that?” Kaoru’s exaggerated frown disappears as a thought occurs to him. They’re friends too, good friends even, so Kanata would know, right? “Hey, Kanata-kun, does Itsuki-kun smile?”

Kanata’s eyebrows furrow.

“Wait, no, that’s not what I mean. I mean, like, have you ever seen him do this, uh...softer smile?”

Kanata’s twinkling eyes come back at full force. “Of course. Shu is a ‘good kid’ ~♪” Kanata’s dripping hand pats Kaoru’s head. “Kaoru’s a ‘good kid’ too~♪”

Huh. So maybe Kaoru hadn’t been hallucinating that one time.

For some reason that makes him feel a little weird to think about.

* * *

Kaoru tends to meet up with Itsuki and Mademoiselle in the club room rather than the practice room these days—Itsuki gets annoyed if practice is interrupted too much—but Kaoru finds himself in front of the door a day or two after going to the arcade and doesn’t really feel like turning all the way back around.

Oddly enough when Itsuki opens the door he doesn’t so much as grumble once before letting him in, although Kagehira’s still giving him the evil eye.

Kaoru notices the ribbon is still in Mademoiselle’s hair.

“Oh, you liked it that much?” Kaoru says, delighted. Then his tone turns a little teasing. “But wait, Itsuki-kun, you’re not wearing yours.”

Itsuki’s face flushes red. “D-Don’t be absurd.”

Kagehira looks rapidly between the two of them, but Kaoru ignores it. The guy just does that quiet staring thing a lot. He’s gotten used to it. “What? I thought they suited you pretty well.” Itsuki struggles noiselessly for a minute, face all scrunched up, and Kaoru muffles a chuckle, endeared. He’s just so fun to wind up. Kaoru really can’t resist now that he’s found that out. He curls a hand up like a cat’s paw. “Nyaa~”

Silence.

“...Itsuki-kun?”

“I have suddenly remembered I have something terribly important that I forgot somewhere else, excuse me.”

And then Itsuki’s out the door before Kaoru can say another word, leaving him blinking at empty air, stuck in a room with just...Kagehira.

Welp. Would you look at that. What an excellent time to leave the room as well—

“Oshi-san’s just shy, y’know,” Kagehira mutters, freezing Kaoru in his tracks.

“...Huh?”

“He’s shy,” he insists, picking at his cuticles. He stares at Kaoru from under the fringe of his dark hair, mouth pulled down like he can’t decide whether talking was a mistake or not.

“Shy.” Kaoru can’t picture that at all. It’s not like Itsuki’s some pure maiden that blushes at hand contact and trips all over himself. Kaoru has to bite his lip to keep from laughing at that mental image.

An awkward silence falls, but Kaoru’s not rushing to leave like he was before. He almost feels like there’s a question or two he wants to ask, hiding in the back of his throat, but he’s not sure which ones. Or if this guy would even answer them. He lingers by the door.

Minutes pass before Kagehira speaks again, a determination in his eyes. “I’m gonna stay with Oshi-san forever.”

“O...okay…?” Kaoru starts sweating. What is this? A declaration of love? A jealous boyfriend act? Ugh. Suddenly he wants _very_ much to dart right out that door again. “Um. You can leave me out of this, you know.”

Kagehira gives him a look like Kaoru’s got more than a few screws loose. “Oshi-san found me and put me back together, so I’ll put ‘im back together for the rest of my life if I have to. No matter who breaks him I’m never, ever, ever gonna give up on him.”

Something in Kaoru’s chest twinges hard. “That’s...nice…” He scoots a few precious centimeters further until he’s only halfway in the room.

“But,” Kagehira continues, voice hard, “if you hurt Oshi-san I’ll hurt ya back.”

You see, Kaoru’s never been intimidated by this guy before in his life. Up until recently the only impression he’s had of him has been as a shadowy smudge of a person trailing behind Itsuki or clinging to Narukami’s elbow in the hallways. He’s thin and boney and hunches and barely ever speaks up, but right now, in this moment, Kagehira seems like a different person entirely. Like the person he is on stage: larger than life, with eyes so sharp they’ll cut right through you.

Kaoru holds his hands up with a half-hearted laugh. “Woah, woah, I’m not planning to hurt him or anything?”

“You don’t gotta plan on it,” Kagehira says, rapidly deflating. With that hunch the glamour fades, the valkyrie disappearing like it was never there. “Sometimes it just happens.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> psyche this isn't the last chapter after all i have zero ability to predict the length of this fic

Kaoru doesn’t sprint, not whenever he can avoid it, but he miiiight be walking a little fast towards the handicraft club room. Or a lot fast. Whatever. And Oogami standing there in the middle of the hall might be staring slackjawed at his sudden burst of zeal, but you know what? Kaoru has a date with Anzu. He has a date with her _tomorrow_.

Kaoru tosses Oogami a flippant smile over his shoulder and rounds the corner, going right through those doors so he can share the good news with Mademoiselle as soon as possi—

Oh. Wait.

Itsuki’s asleep. Like... _asleep_ asleep.

Kaoru catches the door before it can swing back closed and gently clicks it shut behind him.

Itsuki’s slumped forward in his chair, needle still in hand and fabric trailing down the table, his face cushioned sideways on an arm. Most people would probably be all gross and drooling in a position like that, but not Itsuki. His mouth is firmly closed, a tiny crease between his brows like his dream has pissed him off somehow. It shouldn’t be cute. Kaoru shouldn’t—no, definitely can’t—call it cute, but…

Kaoru quietly pulls out the chair next to Itsuki and sits down, although he doesn’t know why he’s bothering to be so careful. He should be waking him up anyway. Instead he just sits there and watches Itsuki’s unchanging face.

...he _is_ breathing, right?

Kaoru puts a hand by Itsuki’s mouth, relieved to feel the gentle puffs of air coming from his nose. Then his hand hovers there for a second. It’s only fair, Kaoru reasons as his hand drifts upwards, Itsuki messed with his hair not too long ago so it’s only fair if Kaoru does it back. It’s revenge.

At first it’s just a tickly sensation, the lightest brush of his fingertips at the edges, but then he gathers his courage and keeps going, watching his fingers sink into pink strands. It’s feathery. And surprisingly thick. Maybe that’s why Itsuki keeps it so short. Kaoru can’t imagine what kind of chaos it would be like at Rei’s length. Or no, no, no, _Hibiki’s_. Kaoru presses his lips together to contain a laugh.

He decides to keep playing with it a moment longer, resting his chin in his hand as he messes up the artful arrangement, delighted to discover that if he smears a lock upwards it stays fanned up in a messy cowlick. How come no one told him Itsuki’s hair was this fun? It’s kind of dangerous. Kaoru feels like he could sit here for hours just running his hands through it.

Kaoru’s hand freezes. That’s...huh. That’s a weird thought.

He snatches his hand back. Just because Itsuki doesn’t have the most normal sense of personal space—he’s always either two or more feet away or _right_ up in Kaoru’s face, there’s no in-between—that doesn’t mean Kaoru has to start getting weird about it too. And isn’t it about time Itsuki wakes up anyway? Man, he really must be out cold...although he must have shifted in his sleep at some point because that little furrow between his eyebrows has gone and disappeared while Kaoru wasn’t looking.

Kaoru reaches out and shakes Itsuki’s shoulder. Once, twice, three times… “Come on Itsuki-kun, rise and shine~”

And Itsuki startles awake, going rigid all over with a loud gasp. It isn’t until his wide, rapidly blinking eyes land on Kaoru’s face that he relaxes almost subconsciously, the hint of a smile blooming before quickly being wiped away. Itsuki clears his throat and pushes himself upright, hurriedly smoothing his crinkled shirt into presentability while completely missing the wild nest of his hair, one side smooshed flat from the table, the other fluffed up to defy gravity.

Kaoru fails to suppress his laughter this time.

“W-What?” Itsuki snaps defensively, ears going red. “I fail to see what’s so amusing.”

Kaoru shakes his head and makes a vague gesture, laughing too much to get any words out.

“Hakaze, for _heaven’s_ sake—”

“It’s just, haha, I mean…” This time Kaoru manages a better gesture.

Itsuki’s hands slowly rise to his own hair, and when they finally reach it his expression is pure horror. “You!” He picks up a spare scrap of cloth and flings it, nearly catching Kaoru in the face. “What have you done?!”

Kaoru dodges a pencil and then the stub of an eraser with a fresh burst of laughter. “Not much! That’s maybe only _half_ my fault, you know~”

“Tch!”

Itsuki picks up another scrap of cloth to throw, but Kaoru lunges in and grabs his wrist before he can. “Hahaha, I’ll fix it, I’ll fix it. I promise.” And maybe Itsuki still looks grumpy, but he doesn’t fight it at all when Kaoru plucks the cloth from him and sets it down, scooting his chair in closer. “Just gimme a second…”

Before Kaoru can think about this being a bad idea his fingers are already in Itsuki’s hair again. Oh well, too late now. He just has to be normal about it. Don’t make it weird. That shouldn’t be hard, right? He combs down in short strokes, smoothing out the mess, and does his best to ignore the way Itsuki looks off to the side, jaw tight and face flushed.

Once he’s done he backs off as casually as possible. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

“...I...I suppose.” Itsuki grumbles, crossing his arms. “Now did you have some business with me or did you simply come to make a nuisance of yourself?”

Business? Oh, right! Kaoru straightens up in his chair. “Anzu-chan said tomorrow evening works for the date~!”

“...ah.”

Something in the way Itsuki’s face goes completely blank doesn’t sit right with Kaoru. “What?”

“Nothing.” Itsuki gets up crisply from his seat, starts stowing away the materials scattered around the table, and Mademoiselle neatly picks up where Itsuki leaves off.

“‘My, my, how do you feel? Are you nervous, Kaoru-kun?’”

Kaoru chats with her easily enough like always, excitement rising the more he talks about the impending date, but no matter how he tries he can’t quite get his mind off that one moment, off of Itsuki’s empty, doll-like expression.

* * *

Itsuki’s weird all throughout class the next day. Usually he sets Mademoiselle down on the desk when the teacher lectures, but Kaoru doesn’t see him let go of her even _once_. And during lunch he sees them talking quietly together, some hushed conversation that Itsuki clearly doesn’t like, something scarily fragile in the slant of his mouth.

Kaoru had been planning to talk to Mademoiselle, get a nice little pep-talk and hear her cheer for him a little bit to raise his spirits, but he can’t bring himself to intrude on a moment that feels so personal. He waits until after classes are over instead, trailing after Itsuki to the clubroom and trying not to fidget as he waits for him to open the door.

Once inside Itsuki waves a hand for him to take a seat and then begins busying himself with his work, a perfectly normal routine that suddenly feels all wrong. Kaoru doesn’t mean to but he ends up staring, watching as Itsuki grabs for a pair of scissors and uncharacteristically fumbles them. They fall with a clatter and Itsuki quickly snatches them back up again, turning his back to Kaoru as he snips something or another.

“Um,” Kaoru ventures. “You doing alright?”

Itsuki’s shoulders stiffen, but he doesn’t turn back around. “I’m perfectly fine.”

Silence. Snip, snip. Silence.

Kaoru hums and leans back in his chair, a deliberate show of nonchalance. “I don’t know if I believe that though?”

“Believe what you like.” A sharp sigh. Another swipe of the scissors. “You’re aware if you dally much longer you’ll be late. You still need to change.”

Kaoru frowns, leaning back forward. “Yeah, but—”

Itsuki sniffs imperiously, finally turning around. “Any gentleman worth his salt knows to be at least five minutes early to any engagement.”

Kaoru bites his tongue. Itsuki doesn’t want Kaoru to pry. Okay fine. Itsuki will be fine. He can take care of himself. “Right.” Another dead silence hangs over them, heavier than it should be, and Kaoru gets up, edging toward the door. He always wants to flee when the atmosphere in a room gets like this anyway, but for some reason right now that’s the last thing he wants to do. “...you sure you’re okay?”

Itsuki doesn’t say a single word, just waves him out the door, and Kaoru doesn’t even remember that he was originally going to talk to Mademoiselle until he’s halfway down the hall.

* * *

Kaoru shows up to their agreed-upon meeting place by the fountain a whole ten minutes early with his heart in his throat. He finds an empty bench nearby and tries relaxing for a bit but almost immediately shoots back up, too jittery to just sit there and wait. He ends up standing near it, hands in his pockets and feeling a little nauseous. God, he hopes he’s not shaking or anything. That would be embarrassing.

He tries to focus on other things to combat his nervousness: the sound of the creek nearby, the breeze...tries to remember all the little tips Mademoiselle’s given him and recalls the feeling of her little hand patting his head instead, telling him he’s doing such a good job…

And then like a dream Anzu is walking towards him instead of edging away, a tentative smile on her lips as she spots him and draws in close. And here, here is where Kaoru takes his hands from his pockets and reaches for one of hers, giving her a roguish wink and gently leading her through all the nicest spots he knows: the bridge over the water, the path through the park, the little red-brick cafe where a guy plays live piano on the hour…

And maybe it doesn’t go exactly like how he’d fantasized a date with Anzu would go, he’s not as smooth as he wants to be and he’s probably still not quite as honest as he _should_ be, but right now, sitting in the cafe’s patio, hearing the piano mix with the soothing sounds of the water fountain, smelling the aroma of good coffee, appreciating the spray of flowers on the nearby trellis...Kaoru knows he can look across the table and see her there.

And there she is, hands around her mug, looking calm and peaceful and like she’s having at least a pretty decent time, and that should be perfect, right?

But.

There’s something missing. She doesn’t seem....charmed. Excited. Touched.

Kaoru probably didn’t try hard enough.

* * *

“‘Oh, Kaoru-kun! How did your date go?’”

He doesn’t quite know how to answer that.

“‘Kaoru-kun?’”

“Ah, well. It went okay?”

Mademoiselle’s head tilts. “‘Oh my...are you alright? Are you getting sick?’”

“What? Ahaha...no, no. I’m fine.”

“‘Then...oh no, did it go badly after all?!”

Kaoru watches her little hands go over her mouth and feels stupid. It’s not like it was a bad date. It was a good date, it really was. He doesn’t even know why he feels so weird about it. It’s just...when he looked her, the way she looked back was...it just wasn’t…

“No way! With all your help it went just perfect~” He scratches at his head. “I guess I just haven’t really won her over yet.”

Because you see, maybe she isn’t running from him anymore, but that doesn’t mean she _likes_ him, does it. No fond eyes, or soft smiles, or blushes, or…

Well. That just means he needs to ask her out again, right? It can take more than one date to reach someone's heart. It isn't over. Not yet.

* * *

The next time Kaoru visits the handicraft clubroom it’s absolutely packed. Kagehira, Aoba, and Kiryu are in there, all working in a frenzy while Itsuki slings to and fro, correcting something here, changing something there. Kagehira and Aoba seem well used to it, but Kiryu looks like he’s about to cuff Itsuki upside the head.

“Ah, young lady, bring that over here.” Itsuki beckons, and Anzu appears from around some shelving, a bundle of fabric in her arms. “I’ve already pinned these together, so if you’ll stitch them I’ll move on to the jacket.”

Kaoru’s whole throat goes dry, but he swallows and takes a step forward, opening his mouth to speak.

“Tsk, your ribbon’s going undone, how sloppy.” Itsuki unties the hairpiece that kept her hair back while she worked and redoes it, carefully combing stray locks back in to make sure none of it will get in her eyes. “There. That suits you much better.”

And Kaoru can’t see her eyes since they’re cast down to the floor, but he sees her face, red blooming across her nose and her cheeks like roses. She’s blushing.

An aching pit opens up in the bottom of Kaoru’s stomach as it all clicks.

She’s _blushing._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who knows how long this thing's gonna be tbh

Kaoru’s haunted by that scene: Itsuki’s fingers in Anzu’s hair, Anzu’s demure blush… It plays over and over in his head for days. Kaoru worked _so_ hard for _so_ long to try and make Anzu’s heart flutter like that, asked for advice, changed his ways, but Itsuki manages it in seconds? It’s unfair.

Kaoru blinks rapidly at the top of his desk. It’s so unfair.

When class is over he hears Mademoiselle call out to him, but he barely hears what she’s saying. He throws a sloppy wave over his shoulder—he doesn’t know how he can look Itsuki in the eye right now—and escapes out the door.

“Nghaaa?!”

Oh oops. He _maybe_ hadn’t been paying attention where he was going.

“Aha...sorry, sorry.”

Kagehira scrambles up to his feet before Kaoru can think about offering a hand down which is probably for the best. Kaoru just wants to get out of there, get out of the school for a bit and forget everything. He can already feel his phone burning a hole in his pocket. Maybe if he calls up a girl they can go to the arcade and—wait, no, all Kaoru can think about with the arcade is Itsuki’s victorious laugh and putting those cat ears on his head and—

“Ummm…” Kagehira cranes a little around Kaoru, trying to peer into the 3A classroom. “Can ya move a little?”

He opens his mouth to say ‘yeah, sure,’ already halfway through the motion of walking away when...hold on a second. He stares at Kagehira. If anyone, _anyone_ knows something about Itsuki, it would have to be this guy. Right? Without thinking he lunges forward and grabs Kagehira’s arm.

“Huh?!” Kagehira yelps.

Kaoru gives him an uneven smile. “Heyyyyy, Kagehira-kun, why don’t you come with me for a second?”

“No? I don’t wanna????”

“It’ll just take a second, I promise. Please?”

“Ngggggnnn…”

In that moment of hesitation Kaoru manages to tow him over to the closest empty room and shuts the door behind them with a final-sounding click. Kagehira’s eyes repeatedly dart from Kaoru’s face to the door like he’s wondering if he can make a break for it, but eventually he gives it up as a lost cause, shoulders sagging low. His mismatched eyes squint at Kaoru with suspicion from under the dark fringe of his hair.

“Whaddya want.”

“Nothing! Nothing really, I just wanted to ask you a question or two. You know. About Itsuki.”

“I’m not tellin’ you,” Kagehira declares vehemently, suspicion instantly morphed into distrust. “He’s already been all weird lately, and that’s _gotta_ be your fault isn’t it—”

“Weird?” Kaoru latches onto that word. “Yeah, he’s been weird right? So I just wanted to ask if you knew...um, this is kind of embarrassing but. You don’t think he’s going after Anzu-chan, do you…?”

All the defensiveness whooshes out of Kagehira at once, his head tilting to the side. “Goin’ after?”

“Is he _into_ her?”

“Huh?!” Kagehira squeaks, flabbergasted. “Oshi-san’s not...he ain’t...he’s not thinking of Anzu-chan like that!”

But Kaoru saw her blush when he complimented her. There was no mistaking that. “Well then, but if she likes him maybe she’ll win him over? He’ll say yes for sure if she asks him out.”

“He _really_ won’t????”

“You don’t know that.”

Kagehira scowls. “You’re dumb.”

“Hey!”

Hearing an insult like that out of this kid’s mouth is ten times worse than any kind of reflexive prickliness Kaoru’s suffered from being around Itsuki, but he can’t even spare the energy to be offended. He’s too wrapped up in the itchy feeling in his chest, the persistent worry. He never saw an ending like this coming, you know? But maybe he should have. After all, Anzu would always run away from him and hide behind Itsuki, right? The signs were always there. She’s comfortable around him, he dotes on her right back… The signs were there this whole time.

* * *

Kaoru can’t just rely on Kagehira’s opinion. He has to know if Itsuki likes her. He has to be absolutely sure.

Because if Itsuki does, what’s he been doing this whole time? Sitting right there letting Mademoiselle try and hook her and Kaoru up in front of him? Or has he just been biding his time and waiting for Kaoru to fail?

That thought haunts him along with all the others, Itsuki playing along, never believing in him, maybe even thinking it’s _funny_. But no, no way, that doesn’t sound like him at all. Sure he’s got a tough outer shell, but there’s a nice guy under all of that. Right?

So Kaoru sits in the handicraft clubroom, propping his chin on his hand and projecting as much idle casualness as he can possibly muster. His heart is pounding so hard he wants to throw up, but he refuses to let it show. And yeah, maybe Itsuki has been getting weird all of a sudden these past few days, but he still let Kaoru in here right after school so that has to count for something. This little chat shouldn’t be too hard. It’s just a little girl talk. Guys do it all the time.

But man, the only other time he’s talked about girls with Itsuki was when they were both stuck doing class chores after school, and he can’t exactly say that went well. What guy doesn’t get fired up over girls in swimsuits, huh?! Where did he go wrong?! Ah well...he’ll just have to do better this time. Appeal more to Itsuki’s specific tastes.

Kaoru looks at Itsuki, absorbed in focus as he hems up a sleeve, and clears his throat. Time to get the show on the road. “Hey so. If you could put a girl, like say...Anzu-chan in any kind of outfit what would it be?”

Not subtle at all, but Itsuki doesn’t seem to notice, concentration scattering into something more thoughtful as he finishes a stitch and then rolls the needle between his fingers. “Anything? She’d look quite charming in a crinoline skirt. It doesn’t match up to the impressive volume of a hoop skirt, but she doesn’t suit such stiffness.” Itsuki’s attention turns to Kaoru. “Why? ...I suppose you’re interested in seeing her in Victorian fashion. Well. I’ll have you know I’m quite busy.”

“Wait, wh—oh! No, no, I’m not asking you to…” Kaoru laughs breezily. What’s a crinoline skirt? Whatever, not the point. Did Itsuki seem fired up when he was talking about Anzu in whatever that is? Kaoru can’t tell. It sounds like a subject Itsuki’s thought about before at least. “I just want to know what you think.”

Itsuki stares at him for a long moment, completely blank, and then turns back to his sewing work without a single response.

“Um…” Kaoru waits a minute and then tries again. “What about colors? I think she’d look pretty in lavender, personally~”

Itsuki huffs, not looking up this time. “I’d opt for a richer blue myself. It would compliment her complexion.”

Again, a quick answer. He sounds so matter-of-fact though? But oh _no_ , now that Kaoru’s thinking about it he’s realizing the fatal flaw in his plan. Even if Itsuki does like her it’s not like it would be easy to admit it to someone like Kaoru, who’s been head over heels from the start. He sighs and flops back in his seat, giving up. What a bust. But at least if that’s true, if it’s something that’s hard to say, than Itsuki’s trying to be considerate right now. Which means he’s not out to mess with him. That’s a relief...

“Hmm... What about my complexion, huh?” Kaoru throws out there, just to keep the conversation going—but he stiffens up in surprise when Itsuki abruptly drops his project on the table, eyes burning with interest as they assess him from head to toe. “Woah, woah, it’s not that serious a question?!”

Shu cuts Kaoru’s protest off with a handwave. “Don’t present me with something interesting if you don’t want my attention.” He gets up and circles around Kaoru like a bird of prey, a finger resting contemplatively at his own mouth as he envisions the possibilities. “The problem is that your eye color is the type that’s prone to changing. Different outfits would bring out different hues… I’m not entirely sure I could narrow it down to just one choice.”

Kaoru takes a second to run that through an Itsuki to normal person translator. He grins, beginning to relax. “Are you saying I’d look good in anything? I’d rather get that kind of compliment from a girl, but I guess I’ll take it ♪”

“Wh—?!” Itsuki chokes off into an indignant noise, face flushed, and briskly sits back down to bury himself in his sewing again. After he’s composed himself he heaves a long suffering sigh. “...Can I ever hope for a day in the future where you can go an entire thirty minutes without mentioning women?”

“Whaaat?” Kaoru protests, a teasing smile in the corner of his mouth. “I can’t do that. Poor Mademoiselle would be all left out.”

“‘Fufu, such a gentleman~’”

Kaoru winks at Mademoiselle in response, his heart already feeling a lot lighter than when he came in here, the anxious knot in his stomach starting to unravel. Maybe he’s just blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Anzu might have some feelings for Itsuki, but it seems like Kagehira was actually right? Maybe Anzu already knows Itsuki doesn’t feel the same way. Maybe she’s trying to move on and that’s why she went on that date with him. It kind of sucks to find out he’s the rebound, but it could be worse. She could still fall for him for real. If they spend more time together and he plays his cards right, than maybe...

“‘Ah, Kaoru-kun, have you talked to Anzu-chan about going on a second date?’”

But that’s exactly the problem, isn’t it. The second date. “Um...no. Not really.”

Not for lack of trying, but she’s always busy and any time Kaoru offers to help her out or something she politely turns him down and goes about her day. Kaoru really envies how often Itsuki’s able to work with her. He wonders if it’s always like that one moment he saw before, them close together with that cute aura… Maybe sometimes it’s the other way around, Anzu fixing Itsuki’s hair or his collar or the ruffles on his shirt. Kaoru grimaces, his stomach burning with jealousy. He swallows it down.

“‘Oh my, well that won’t do! You have to keep working to charm her if you want to woo her!’”

“Charm her?” Kaoru leans forward with a light smile, trying to change the subject. He doesn’t want to think about this anymore. “So you think I’m charming, Mademoiselle?”

“‘Well of course I do!’”

See, getting praised by a pretty girl is _much_ better. Kaoru puts all his attention there instead, smiling at the kind little doll that never judges him. “Yeah? Have I wooed you yet? I can try to make your heart flutter if you want~”

Mademoiselle titters, voice surprisingly coy when she responds, “‘But who says it isn’t fluttering right now, Kaoru-kun?’”

...this feels weird suddenly? She’s not usually this much... _this_ , right? Or is she?

When Kaoru looks over at Itsuki his ears are a burning, bright red.

Sharp eyes leave the needle and snap to Kaoru, Itsuki’s mouth pressed into a thin, defensive line. “What is it?”

Kaoru’s now brutally aware he’d been staring with his mouth open. He shuts it and looks back down at Mademoiselle, laughing unsteadily. “Nothing, nothing~ I was just shocked Mademoiselle was so bold~”

“Hmph.” Itsuki rips out a few of his stitches and redoes them furiously, shoulders stiff up around his neck, muttering staccato and fast like a dam bursting. “You’re a terrible influence on her. Honestly I don’t understand why you two enjoy chatting about these things so much. Is it so fun airing out your failures every time we meet? Do you really think you can win someone’s heart just like that? Just because you want it?”

Itsuki yanks hard when the thread catches on something, and Kaoru swears he hears something snap. Itsuki’s hands freeze, then fall slack. “There are simply some people on this planet that will never return your affections. It’s best to accept it.”

Kaoru reels, stunned. That’s...cruel. Why is he being so cruel out of nowhere? “Ahaha…” He’s abruptly aware his hands have nothing to do so he puts them in his lap, and then immediately gets hit by a restless energy so strong he has to bolt up out of his seat right after. He feels nauseous again. “Maybe you’re right. It’s stupid to try so hard. It doesn’t suit me, does it?”

He shoves his hands in his pockets, hating the tremble in them. He’d thought he could get serious just this once and things would be okay. He’d had someone in his corner rooting for him after all, telling him he had a chance, but as it turns out…

It’s not that Itsuki was making fun of him, or competing with him, or sabotaging him. Itsuki just thought he was an _idiot._

When Kaoru turns tail and escapes, no voice calls out after him. Not Itsuki, not Mademoiselle.

* * *

Possessed by frantic energy Kaoru combs the whole school until he finds Anzu. This is it. This is his last shot. This is all he’s got left in him. It’s now or never. And he has to dig his nails into his palms to keep his voice steady when he asks her out this one last time, but he has to do it. He has to prove Itsuki’s bitter words wrong or else they’ll lodge in his heart like a needle that will never come out again.

Anzu’s eyes look sad.

Kaoru knows what her answer is before she even opens her mouth.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the fic that never endsssss  
> yes it goes on and on my friendsssss  
> some person started writing it not knowing what it was  
> and they'll continue writing it forever just becauseeeeee

It’s pouring outside. Kaoru would laugh at how stupidly fitting that is, but he’s too busy hiding his head between his knees and bawling his eyes out. At least the rain is loud enough that no one should hear him. Lucky break, right? And if he’s even luckier he’s picked a lonely enough corner of campus that no one has a chance of ever finding him.

He doesn’t know exactly how long he sits there curled up on himself—long enough that his eyes ache and his nose gets so stuffy it’s impossible to breathe through—but suddenly the rain cuts out, the sound of fat raindrops plunking against an umbrella that’s definitely not his. Kaoru stiffens up, eyes wide as he spots a familiar pair of shoes in the grass right in front of him. He doesn’t lift his head, doesn’t look up.

Itsuki Shu is the last person he wants to see right now.

“What on earth are you doing here?” Itsuki says, voice clipped. “Out in the open with nothing so much as a jacket? You’ll catch your death.”

Kaoru feels him crouch down but stubbornly stays frozen in place, not daring to peek. Itsuki seems to pause, waiting for a reaction of any kind, but all Kaoru can bring himself to do is press his lips together and sniff quietly. He doesn’t even have it in him to brush everything off like normal right now.

Itsuki’s hand moves to try and comb Kaoru’s sopping hair out of his face, and Kaoru jolts, shoulders quivering. “C-Cut it out…! Leave me alone. It’s not a big deal. It’s just another failure or whatever, right?”

“...”

Itsuki’s silence is crushing. Kaoru impatiently waits for him to rise, for those shoes to turn and leave, but seconds stretch on into minutes and they stick stubbornly in place. Instead Kaoru feels a hand latch onto his elbow and pull upward, and all of the sudden Kaoru remembers with perfect clarity how freakishly strong Itsuki is.

“H-Hey?!” Kaoru staggers to his feet, head still bowed to the ground and free hand coming up to cover his face. He can’t have anyone see him like this. He really can’t. He’s a mess. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m escorting you back inside.”

Kaoru digs his heels in. “N-No, no, no, no way. I’m not going in there!”

What if his unitmates are inside? What if Anzu’s still in there somewhere? Too many people who would probably look at this and say it serves him right. He can’t deal with that.

“Hm.”

Next thing Kaoru knows, Itsuki’s open umbrella is unceremoniously shoved in his hands, Itsuki’s arm is going around his back, and—

“W-W-W-Woah, what are you doing?!”

“Stop flailing! You won’t get yourself out of the rain with your own two feet so I’m simply doing what is necessary.”

Oh god, Itsuki is carrying him. Full on princess style like it’s nothing. Kaoru’s brain trips over that fact for a good, long minute, distracted by the ease with which Itsuki’s whisking him away, and then by the time it’s back online they’re already at the entrance of the main building. Kaoru panics, starts to struggle again, and finally this time Kaoru’s able to roll out of Itsuki’s grasp, bumping up against the front doors with a loud clatter. “Okay, okay~! That’s enough~!”

Itsuki just huffs and takes his umbrella back, closing it and shaking it dry with a couple snaps of his wrist before herding Kaoru inside. With a firm grip on Kaoru’s upper arm he pulls him through the hallways, tugging insistently every time Kaoru tries to slip away.

“I understand that you’re upset,” Itsuki hurries to cut in just as Kaoru opens his mouth, not even looking at him, “but I will not allow you to roam the halls like some ghoulish drowned creature.”

And he really does look like one: shoes squeaking on the floor, leaving puddles of water behind, hair still in his face like some B-rate mob monster in a horror flick. There’s hardly anyone here this late after classes but Kaoru still shrinks in on himself in shame. He feels so small and lame and stupid.

But it isn’t much longer until they end up in the handicraft club room, and the moment after Itsuki snaps the door shut he’s pulling Kaoru over to sit in a chair, whisking something completely over Kaoru’s head. Kaoru sputters. “H-Hey, what—?!” He paws at the fabric, trying to get it off, but Itsuki lightly slaps his hands away. “Itsuki-k—”

“Will you just _hold still_. I swear, you almost squirm worse than Kagehira.”

Hands delicately scrunch the fabric against Kaoru’s hair. Oh. Itsuki’s drying him off.

“I can do it myself,” Kaoru grumbles in weak protest, even though he contradicts himself by instantly falling still.

Itsuki doesn’t acknowledge that statement with anything more than a distracted hum anyway, methodically drying Kaoru’s hair and then pulling the fabric back out of Kaoru’s face to dab at the water trailing down Kaoru’s neck. After that Itsuki’s hands pause, having run out of things to do. They linger awkwardly in midair while his eyes stay fixed somewhere around Kaoru’s shoulder. He doesn’t say another word.

Part of Kaoru wants to see how long it would take before Itsuki folds, but even now, even when looking at him kind of hurts a bit, he can’t bring himself to be that mean. “So,” Kaoru says, looking off at some random corner of the room, “where’s Mademoiselle?”

He senses more than sees the surprise on Itsuki’s face. “I...She’s in Kagehira’s care at the moment. I wasn’t about to expose her to the elements unnecessarily.”

“Right…”

Silence falls again and neither of them can quite manage to make eye contact, the atmosphere a heavy shroud between them. Kaoru swallows and tries to gather his courage to...to do _something_ , either think of another icebreaker or get out of there, but this time Itsuki beats him to it.

“I suppose I must apologize,” he says, so quickly the words almost blur together. “I hadn’t meant to be cruel.”

“Aha...it’s not like this was all you. It’s…” But Kaoru’s throat closes up the instant he thinks back on that one moment, on Anzu’s sad eyes.

But it’s Itsuki’s eyes that are on him now, and he seems to be struggling with what to say next, his glance darting around Kaoru’s cry-induced disaster of a face. “Which implies it was partially my fault.”

Kaoru bites the inside of his cheek and doesn’t respond.

“...I see.”

If Kaoru had thought Itsuki was stiff before he’s twice as stiff now, something strong storming behind his eyes like a dam fit to burst. His fingers twitch, fall still, and then dart forward; Kaoru yelps, nearly tumbling backward in the chair at the sudden touch of fingers to the tender, puffy skin under his eyes.

“I took my own frustrations out on you,” Itsuki confesses quietly. His fingertip moves feather-soft just under Kaoru’s lower lashline. “Ahhh...it truly is lamentable to be the cause of a blemish on your fine features.”

Kaoru’s throat hasn’t loosened up any so he wheezes a breath in to try to clear it, his pulse loud in his ears. Not that he wants anyone else to see him like this, but he’s hyper-aware that he and Itsuki are the only ones in the room right now. Somehow the air feels stifling. Ah, he can’t take this serious atmosphere anymore. Can’t he just turn the clock back to yesterday? “What, you see me like this all the time. Just put some make-up on me and I’ll be charming again like always~”

And that’s weird, isn’t it, that Kaoru’s been going to Itsuki for things like that all this time, before this whole mess even started. But ever since that one class trip to the arcade Itsuki’s always ready with his concealer whenever Kaoru’s had a bad day at home, and what else is Kaoru gonna do?

“I _have_ gotten far too skilled at that.” Itsuki says with the ghost of a smile that quickly fades. “But...this is different, non?”

“Well…” Kaoru’s brain stubbornly shies away from that statement and lands on something else entirely. Perfect, he could use a subject change. “So, what _were_ you so upset about last time?”

Itsuki’s surprised noise sounds like a dying animal, and he snatches his hand back from Kaoru’s face, finally breaking that weird atmosphere. “That...That’s entirely beside the point!”

“Hey now, come on. Isn’t it a little my business?” Kaoru leans towards him, looking up at him with wide, still-reddened eyes, milking them for all they’re worth. “Since you were taking it out on me and everything…?”

Itsuki’s throat clicks, his nose scrunched up and brows all furrowed, but Kaoru can see he’s already been defeated. Itsuki points his gaze to another side of the room and huffs, and Kaoru watches fascinated as red brushes those cheeks. “I was simply agitated because your situation mirrors my own somewhat.”

“Mirrors…? What, so something about it hit too close to home?” It takes all of a second for it to click, and Kaoru bolts straight up in his chair. “Wait, wait, Itsuki-kun, don’t tell me...are you crushing on someone?!”

“Don’t call it a _crush_ ,” Itsuki snaps, face flushing dark.

Kaoru sits there with his mouth open for a good long second. He’d done his panicking before about the possibility of Itsuki and Anzu getting together, but thinking about the reality of Itsuki truly liking someone is bowling him over right now.

“S...Stop looking at me that way!” Itsuki turns partially around and then seems to think better of it, re-centering himself and doing his damnedest to pretend he’s not embarrassed. It doesn’t work at all. “Someone may have caught my eye, but it won’t amount to anything. There’s little point in talking about it.”

That’s...really sad?

“What, no, don’t talk like that. You’re going to give up without even doing anything?” And sure, Kaoru still can’t seem to wrap his brain around Itsuki liking someone—it makes his stomach feel heavy for some reason?—and sure, Kaoru’s own love life hasn’t amounted to much. But. “You should confess!”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?” A scary thought resurrects like a zombie. “It’s. It’s not Anzu-chan, right?”

Itsuki stares at him. “Good lord, no.”

“Whew. Good, okay. I didn’t think so, but you know…” Kaoru didn’t expect hearing that to fix his own broken heart or anything, but he was at least thinking it would calm his nerves down some. It doesn’t. He still feels like a total mess. Ugh, this sucks. Stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it. Think about Itsuki instead. _He_ still has a chance. “Who is she? From another school, or…? Hey, maybe I can be your wingman~?”

“I do not,” Itsuki sounds out slowly, like he can’t believe he’s even saying this, “need a ‘wingman.’”

Kaoru pouts. “Well you gotta at least make some moves on her. How else is she going to know you’re interested? Give her some hints~!”

A beat passes where Itsuki’s serious eyes search Kaoru face. Then his hand reaches out, just like moments before, and grasps Kaoru’s chin. “You asked a similar question of Mademoiselle before, so I’ll return it to you. How would you like a person to declare their intentions?”

Kaoru feels lightheaded. “Why are you asking me? I’m a guy, you know? You should ask Anzu-chan that.”

Itsuki’s hand doesn’t budge. “Hakaze.”

“Um.” Kaoru squirms, heart beating faster. “I mean. I thought Mademoiselle’s advice was pretty good? You can’t go wrong with flowers and sincerity, right?” Itsuki’s hand withdraws once the answer is given, and Kaoru breathes in deep with relief.

“Thank you.”

It’s like being dunked in ice water. Suddenly this feels like a bad idea. “Hold on, so you’re going to do it?”

“I might.” Itsuki says, his casual tone ruined by the intensity of his stare, like he’s already building and discarding dozens of plans as they speak. “Mademoiselle isn’t here, but I know her well. She would have agreed with everything you’ve said. So perhaps I will confess after all.”

“What?!”

“Hints have no effect whatsoever. Besides, I’m far better suited to grand gestures ♪”

“Aha, I’m sure you are…”

Itsuki’s sudden energetic mood has Kaoru horribly off-balance, but this is good. This is perfect. Itsuki at least will get a happy ending. He’ll get someone that’ll take him out to fancy cafes and fun arcades, someone who will play with his hair and fix the ruffles on his shirt, someone who will think his embarrassing laugh is cute, someone who will get to see that rare, infinitely soft smile—

“Hakaze?”

“Sorry, I guess I zoned out? Good luck, Itsuki-kun~ You’ll have to tell me all about it after.”

Itsuki shoots him a look he can’t decipher. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Ouch. Be nice to me, I’m nursing a broken heart, you know~”

And Kaoru must be keeping up his light and breezy attitude well enough because it isn’t much later until Kagehira calls for Itsuki, and Itsuki leaves. And Kaoru’s still there, sitting in his cold, soggy clothes in that chair, alone in the handicraft clubroom.

And it’s stupid but everything in here makes him want to cry.


End file.
